I feel nothing, not anymore. I look into the eyes of the people I once loved, and see nothing. Brick walls build higher in my mind. It has become easier to mask this with fake laughter and smiles, but inside I’m dying. A little more each day. Whittling away at my soul, every day…my demon, my devil. He likes to see my cry. He enjoys it rather. Likes to witness the war of extremities battle in my mind, destroying what has made me human.

The goals I have made are too vague to be accomplished. And so I have made a new goal…to find my purpose in life. It sounds cheesy, sure, but honestly that’s what I need. All I enjoy in this world are physical things. So unless I am going to become an Olympian or a prostitute I do not know my purpose. I feel guilt every day for not making progress in what I will do with my life in the future, and no career seems to suit me. I am not living anymore. I am grasping onto what is supposed to be my life, but I am not living. I just want to live again